Un Patterning
Truth and Being
Light birthed in darkness, I am colorless eyes formed of vociferous storms. Shattered windows. Eyes as mirrors absorbing everything, then reflecting, and contrasting it all back out of me. He said I must be a goddess of magic with eyes that change colors to mimic the stars and trees. I told him I am merely colorless — an endless stirring of light and dark reflecting the world I see.. but this he would not believe.
I hike northward, under the moon seeing the forest through the trees. I look back for a moment on the village I left behind me. My heart is heavy as I grapple with the truth of things I can’t unsee. With the load of shame, I now carry for all that I let myself be. It’s not the first time I have sold myself out in such a way. I have been here before, lost in all the empty words they say.
First Love.
Rejection had done what neglect, violence, and defilement could not. I remember the day my life changed. A moment so marked by the before and after that it left a vacuum of space in between. A black hole that sucked the air and will to live out of me as it tore me apart and crushed me with the singular truth of an unthinkable reality. Everything he had ever told me was a lie. All that I knew about the world shattered and splintered into irreparable fragments right before my eyes. A million jagged cuts I could no longer deny. Years passed…
